The Elephant in the Room
NOW AVAILABLE AT THE CORNELL STORE!
The Elephant in the Room:
Practical Advice When the Diagnosis is Cancer
By Bob Riter
Executive Director, Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes

It can be awkward talking with a friend or loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer. What should you say? What should you not say?
If you have cancer, you may wonder if it's OK to ask your physician the questions you most want to ask.
Even health professionals sometimes feel self-conscious when talking with their patients who have cancer.
The purpose of this book is to help people have conversations about cancer. We don't need to tiptoe around the elephant in the room.
All proceeds from the sale of the book are being donated to the Cancer Resource Center to further its work and support its belief that no one should face cancer alone.
Order now at:
Available in Ithaca at Buffalo Street Books, the Cornell Store, Barnes & Noble, and Wegmans.
Information for media and resellers: Book fact sheet
Table of Contents
Just Diagnosed
Advice for those Newly Diagnosed
Cancer and Positive Thinking
It's OK to Ask Your Doctor These Questions
How Old is too Old to Treat Cancer?
Second Opinions
If Your Mom has Cancer
Good Cancers and Bad Cancers
Telling the Kids
Telling the Parents
What to Say-and Not Say
When a Loved One Has Cancer
Thoughts and Prayer Tree
During Treatment
Keeping Yourself in Balance
Non-Traditional Cancer Therapies
Doctor-Patient Interactions
A Better Phrase than Staying Strong
Advocating for a Loved One
Groundhog Friends
Helping from a Distance
Helping Those We Don't Like
Practical Ways to Help
Chemobrain
More than Tired
Understanding Friends with Cancer
Visiting Those in the Hospital
Single with Cancer
Cancer as a Marathon
Holiday Gifts
Holiday Gifts for those with Serious Illness
When a Partner is in Denial
After Treatment
The After-Treatment Blahs
When Loved Ones Complete Treatment
Survivor's Guilt
Post-Cancer Relationships
Donating Blood and Organs
Survivors Can Help the Newly Diagnosed
Cancer as a Chronic Disease
Beginning to talk about Hospice
Personal Reflections and Random Essays
My Cancer Experience
Don't Ask about My Battle
Surprising Facts about Cancer
Uncertainty and Commitments
The Ugly Stepsister of Cancer
Cancer and the Nature of Hope
I have cancer. What's new with you?
My Cancer Sucks Button
Small Acts of Heroism
The Uncertainty of Cancer
The Difficult Transitions of Cancer
The Good That Emerged
The Look People Give You
Stepping Up for Neighbors
New Year's Wishes
Our Cancer Professionals
New Nurses and Cancer Patients
Doing What I Do
About the author:
Bob Riter is the Executive Director of the Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes, an organization that provides support, information and community to people affected by cancer in and around Ithaca, NY. In addition, Bob writes a regular column about living with cancer for the Ithaca Journal. Those columns serve as the foundation for this book.
Bob's involvement with cancer support and education began in 1996 when he was diagnosed with breast cancer.
A native of Huntington, WV, Bob received his undergraduate degree from Oberlin College and a master's degree in health services administration from the University of Michigan.



